Gethsemane...The Moment of Doubt...

There are moments in stories, and in life, where a person's guard drops and we see the oppressive doubt that comes with a sense of purpose.

We see this moment in Cool Hand Luke where Luke's been recaptured and his spirit is broken. He's exhausted and frustrated and just wants to be left alone. But there he is in the bunkhouse, surrounded by these convicts who look up to him and admire him. They want to know about his time in the free world. They want stories of his exploits. They want him to be their savior.

In his moment of doubt, Luke gets fed up and tells them to leave him alone. He renounces their adoration. He doesn't want to be their hero. He just wants to be left alone, quietly serve his time, and maybe have a normal life. He wants to be a man, not a hero.

Gethsemane is probably my favorite moment in the New Testament. Jesus Christ alone praying while the disciples sleep. Christ knows that he's about to be taken prisoner. He knows his death is assured. He knows that it'll be painful and brutal. And he thinks it fucking sucks.

"Let this cup pass from my hands."

This is the most beautiful moment in the Jesus story. This is the moment where the duality of Christ really shows. When he makes this plea to God, he's not the savior of the world. When he weeps blood as he considers his pending fate, he's not King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He's Jesus. He's just this guy whose friends think he's awesome and insightful. He's a man who thinks he has more to do with his life and isn't ready to die.

It's my favorite moment of every hero story. It's the moment you realize that this guy is just like you in so many ways. My favorite version of the Gethsemane story is Jesus Christ Superstar (which, next to Last Temptation of Christ is my favorite religiously derived piece of entertainment). The song Jesus sings at Gethsemane is beautiful. Every note and syllable is anguish. It screams for mercy. It drips with the inner conflict between wanting to fulfill a destiny and just wanting to be freed.

"Could you ask as much from any other man?"

It's a beautiful moment in any story.