An open letter to a homeless guy who can't understand a traffic signal.

Dear homeless fellow,

I am painfully aware of how badly your life must suck. You wake up everyday at New Life Evangelistic Center and say "Ah fuck, I have to listen to Larry Rice again." This would make me miserable. I mean, if ever there was a person who inspired suicidal acts of recklessness just by speaking to someone, it's Larry "The Bunny Boiler" Rice. So, I don't blame you for wanting to get outside as quickly as possible.

I also don't blame you for being upset that you and the thirty of so of your friends have to clear out of Rev. Rice's beds each morning and go sleep in the park. It's hot outside, so I can see why you'd be depressed about having to do this.

As upset as you are though, if you've decided to end your life - could you find some sleeping pills? Running out into the middle of traffic is a lousy way to kill yourself. Don't get me wrong, it'll work. It's just that I really don't feel like replacing my windshield anytime soon.

Thanks
ZK