Okay...you're a 9/12. That's great. I'm 7/4.

or

"Dick."

I'm going to be honest, I hate 9/11 in this country.

It should be a day for contemplation. People should be able to put aside their politics for at least one day and say "You sir/madame...Today you're not a pinko fag facist neocon pig moonbat feminazi pollyana bitch troofer. Today, you're my neighbor. Congratulations on not being dead." It should be a lot of things that involve inner peace and higher brain functioning.

It's not though. Instead it's a chance for the moonbat left to drone on and on about conspiracies and impeachment. It's a chance for the wingnut right to drone on and on about traitors who dare to dissent and the importance of giving our government the power to protect us. It's a chance to remember which brown people we're allowed to hate. It's a chance use an emotional event that every American can recall every detail of (and if we start forgetting, some politician will bring it up as a justification for whatever boneheaded policy they can't seem to get any support for any other way) and attach it to whatever agenda needs promoting.

It's a Sean Hannity Freedom Concert held in New Jersey.

It's a conspiracy theorist march across Ground Zero.

I hate it. It's annoying. It's depressing. It pisses me off beyond belief.

So, if you spoke with me or emailed with me yesterday and I seemed antagonistic about this national nonholiday, know that it wasn't because I don't appreciate the historical/emotional significance of the day. It's because I am tired of the political operatives in this country building support for their agendas on the backs of dead Americans.

Which brings me to today's rant...

The latest bullshit piece of nonthinking to come out of the terror fetishists is brilliant. It follows like this. Americans can be neatly divided (of course...for any of these ideas to catch, there must be a dichotomy) into two categories 9/10's and 9/12's. The two categories are named after the date that reflects the mindset of the individual being described.

For example:

Do you believe that the government's power to listen to private phone calls should have enough restrictions to guarantee that innocent people are not being subject to survellance? Do you still believe that those restrictions should be in place even though the government only wants them loosened so it can more easily intercept communication from terrorists? Should those restrictions be in place even if the government assures you that it's only looking for terrorists and is unconcerned with the conversation it might hear between you and your attorney/stockbroker/mistress/bookie?

If you answer, "Yes, those restrictions should be place. They may not hear anything incriminating while listening to me on the phone, but that doesn't mean I trust them with whatever information they do collect,"- You sir/madame, are a 9/10. You are one of those naive people that believe individual privacy and liberty comes before the promise of security.

If you answer, "The government should be able to listen to whatever it needs to. After all, it's not like they'll be listening to everyone's call. They'll just be listening to calls from people who fit certain profiles, are suspected of wrongdoing that can't be proven enough to justify a legitmate warrant, or other people who aren't me. Besides, if you have nothing to hide, why are you worried? Are you a terrorist? Wait here a minute while I call homelan...er...my mom,"- You are a 9/12. You are one of those people who will save America not only from the external threat of terror, but from the weak minded, soft headed liberals betraying our country here at home.

Let's try another one...

Do you believe that it's possible your government has made certain mistakes and that a healthy democracy requires that you voice your discontent over those mistakes?

If you say "Yes." then you are a 9/10. You are one of those people who believe that every serviceman who's ever died defending our country did so with the intent of preserving the principals of the constitution. A constitution that gives you things like "rights" and "freedom". You believe that maybe that document was the product of a group of men who didn't trust their government to ever do anything right and maybe that notion wasn't so far fetched.

If you say "No." then you are a 9/12. You are a true patriot. You recognize that the constitution is just a 200 year old piece of paper and holding tight to every word of that document is silly. First of all, our founders would never have imagined the world we live in (the same argument used by gun grabbers and fundamentalist Christians), because if they did, they wouldn't expect us to cling to the bill of rights at the risk of safety. Second, the terrorists don't care about our freedom, so the best way to fight them is to willingly give up our freedom (The "fuck a bunch of Habeus Corpus" argument). Thirdly, it's not like the government is curtailing the rights of middle American white people. There's not such thing as a slippery slope. That's why it's a rhetorical fallacy.

You get the picture. If you love America, you'd better be a 9/12, because 9/10's are nothing but jihadist enablers.

Who thinks this bullshit up? Seriously, is there a room somewhere that houses a table full of dipshit writers who say "They'll never buy this one" and are surprised when their bumper sticker becomes the new rally cry for millions of morons throughout the nation?

Well, since I guess I need a designation...I am a 7/4. I believe that governments are not to be trusted to keep you safe. They are not to be trusted to use power properly. They are not to be trusted to treat you fairly. The signers of our constitution believed this. That's why we're allowed to print what we want, believe what we want, own guns, keep our own counsel, keep troops out of our homes, and every other thing we can do that's protected by the constitution. Governments are not to be trusted.

Ronald Regan knew it too. Some folks need to be reminded of that.

I believe the government that governs best stays the fuck out of my business and I'll accept the risks that come along with that decision. Is it harder for you to listen to jihadists because I file a lawsuit stopping you from listening to me? Tough shit. Learn to do your fucking job better. Does my criticism of your bonehead policies make you seem weak to our enemies? Fuck off. Stop doing dipshit things and they'll see that you're stronger than they thought.

It is possible for our country to be secure without implementing a police state. Everyday we're learning that the 9/11 terrorists could have been stopped, not by increasing government authority but instead by expecting an institution that steals 30% of my income to simply do it's fucking job.

Here...let me say that without profanity for a second (mostly because my grandmother would like me to cuss less).

The fact 9/11 happened was not due to a lack of power on the part of our government. It was due to a lack of competency. Without changing any governmental powers, stepping up the ability to harass the populace, or engaging in thuggery of any kind, our government had indicators going all the way back to the Clinton administration that Al Queda was a threat to be dealt with. By saying, "we need to increase the government's power to respond" the powers in place are taking the blame off of themselves for their incompetency and placing the blame on those who have prevented them from having carte blanche all along. They're blaming us.

Fuck that.

I'm a 7/4.

Most true patriots are.

Never forget.